Rebecca Durham

In life there are two paths - you can either make choices for yourself or wait for opportunities to come along and allow your life to choose for you. Rebecca "Becky" Durham made her own opportunities. She chose what her life would become and let nothing get in her way.

In her lifetime, Becky was a daughter, a sister, a patriotic service woman, and a loving aunt who always held the greatest expectations for herself and for those around her. Always thankful for what she had, Becky was very frugal, often doing without some things, yet sharing beautiful and well-thought out gifts with friends and family. Although an extremely modest and private lady, Becky was especially private about her personal affairs. She maintained and cherished deep bonds with those she loved and was truly a special lady.

1922 was an exciting time in this country, as the Roaring 20s began the automobile and airplane were changing the world, and Prohibition was the law of the land. Howard and Ella (Moehlman) Durham were living in Muskegon Heights in 1922 and were anxiously awaiting the birth of a new baby. On June 29, 1922, they welcomed the birth of a beautiful baby girl they named Rebecca Marie. Becky shared her childhood with siblings Paul, June, Elanora, and the baby of the family, Sheldon.

Becky and Sheldon were the best of friends, and were constant companions all through their childhood. Although Sheldon was the baby brother, he soon grew taller than Becky, making her appear to be the baby of the family. Together they joined the other neighborhood kids playing ball in a vacant lot across the street from their home, playing tennis in the street, and other childhood games like King of the Hill and Kick the Can. . Another favorite play area was "the jump off ", a swampy area where they picked bouquets of wild flowers.

Becky and her brother shared a "fliver" - not a Model T car, but a three wheeled bicycle. One summer day, after arguing as to whose turn it was, Becky began to cry and ran home. When her mother asked if Sheldon had hit her, she said "no". He was truly innocent as she had been stung by a bee.

The family later moved to a farm in Crystal Valley near Hart, Michigan and Becky remembered those days as being not so care-free. Chores and responsibilities took the place of playing ball, but she realized later that the chores played a role in building character. In those days, as Becky wrote, "farming was done with real honest-to-goodness live horsepower." When the work was done, Becky and her brother rode bareback up the road, much to the reluctance of the horses. But once turned toward home, the horses wasted no time getting back to the barn. In fact, they were so anxious, that Becky had to cling to the manes and dig in with her heels to get the horses to stop at the gate, coming to a sliding halt and hanging on for dear life so as not to get pitched over the horse's head.

However, there were lots of fun times on the farm. During the summer months, cousins from Lansing often came to stay with the family. One time they all tried to ride a pig, and nothing was more fun than holding on to a calf's tail and letting it pull them around the barnyard. The apple trees not only provided a cash crop but also served as trapezes, jungle gyms and anything else the kids could think of.

Although Becky didn't have to walk "three miles uphill" to school, she did have to walk about three-quarters of a mile. On the way home, she would test their pitching accuracy by throwing rocks at the insulators on the telephone poles.

Ella and Howard found a better farming opportunity a bit south in Casnovia, MI. They moved to Casnovia which meant that Becky had to acclimate to her third school.

Becky graduated from Sparta High School in 1940 and soon after enlisted in the United States Navy. She served almost three years as a dental assistant and achieved the rank of Pharmacist's Mate, 2nd Class. Part of her time was spent at the Anacostia Naval Base in Anacostia, D.C., where she received a letter of commendation "in the name of the President of the United States, the Secretary of the Navy and the Commanding Officer of Anacostia", citing her patriotism, her loyalty and her courage.

From there, Becky attended the University of Michigan where she earned her BA and MA degrees. Beginning a new chapter in her life, she began teaching in Muskegon Heights. From there she moved to the Hayward Rural School back in Casnovia. The next stop was as a teacher-principal in Arlington, Virginia. During the time she was in Arlington, Becky decided to drive back home to Michigan. Her niece Annette, has many fond memories of flying all by herself to Washington, D.C. - she was only 12 years old - to drive back with her aunt Becky in Becky's new Pontiac convertible, complete with a Indian Head on the hood that lighted up. While in Arlington, Annette acquired a taste for iced tea and poached eggs, something that Becky was still enjoying in the latter part of her life.

However, the military seemed to call, and Becky moved to Germany to teach for the Army at Amberg Army Dependent School in Bavaria, West Germany, the Bittburg Air Base, and Rhein Main Air Base. During her time in Germany, Becky became an avid world traveler, as her passport will attest. When she decided to return to America, she had her car shipped by boat. Imagine her families' surprise when off came a Volkswagen, something they had never seen before, and certainly much smaller than her convertible.

With a move back to the United States, Becky spent the next 22 years teaching at the Quantico Marine Base in Quantico, Virginia, and at retirement, received a Certificate of Appreciation for her "Service to the United States Government".

Now retired, Becky found she was able to spend more time giving to others. As a former teacher, it was second nature for her to tutor at Forest Hills Schools in Grand Rapids. She volunteered for the blood center, labeling bags, working the canteen, and anywhere else she was needed. She also volunteered at the library.

But family was always foremost in her heart. She looked forward to visits from Sheldon. He, along with Becky and her sister June, would drive to Muskegon for an excursion to visit the family gravesites. Then they would swing through their childhood neighborhood to reminisce and often ended the visit with a dinner out.

When June's husband was ill, Becky was right there to help out. A constant visitor at Butterworth Hospital, she continued to help when her brother-in-law was moved home. Every weekend found her at June's side, doing whatever she could. When June's husband died, Becky continued to visit every weekend. Although she never married, Becky was always a part of family gatherings. After her own mother died, her niece Annette lovingly thought of Becky as a substitute grandmother for her children, something Becky cherished. Her nephew Tim helped her through her first bout with cancer in 2005. He was a great deal of help for many years especially helping her tend to her flowers, particularly the geraniums. Becky shared many Sunday dinners with Tim’s family and Cathy’s family in Rockford.

Despite all of her busy activities, Becky still found time to enjoy herself. She was an avid bridge player, playing at least twice a week. One group she called "the old ladies club".

With a deep appreciation for nature, she was a true environmentalist and loved to go bird watching, gathering wild flowers , harking back to the days of the "jump off" and nature walks of her youth. She recycled everything and was passionate about conservation.

Becky Durham lived her life the best way she knew how, being kind and appreciative toward every person, every day. Her quiet nature ended up making quite an impact, inspiring her friends and family to smile and enjoy life to its fullest. She taught many lessons to the people in this life, lessons that will be passed down in family history for years to come. A woman of honor and humility, Becky was dearly loved and will be missed by all who knew her.