Joyce R. Wing

With such a large family, Joyce sometimes complained about having a very full house-but then again, she wouldn't have had it any other way. Being at home, surrounded by the people she knew, was Joyce's ideal setting. Here she could get to know the details of everyone's life; she could embrace the role of mother, and care for her home and for all the people who passed through its doors.

Born Joyce Rosella Hinkley on September 21, 1933, Joyce became one of 11 children in the Hinkley family. They lived on a farm in Lake City, Michigan, sharing in the way of life common to large farm families. Much of the time things were harsh and unsettled, making the moments of playfulness seem all the more intense. Indeed the farm never seemed to have its fill of work to be done. Joyce had a list of regular chores, though her primary one was looking after her younger siblings. Joyce's father also put her in charge of the household ironing. Joyce, it seemed, was the only one with an eye for detail-with a talent for achieving an even, crisp smoothness with the hems of trousers and the temperamental cuffs and edges of collared shirts. With thirteen people in the house, the ironing and all the chores flowed constantly; relentlessly. Childhood prepared Joyce for a life of independence, and for a family of her own.

As a teenager, Joyce moved to Grand Rapids to live with one of her siblings. She found a job at National Brass and stayed there for a short time before moving on to a few other positions. A marriage began and ended quickly for Joyce, but thankfully the experience led to a much better one. Upon the urging of her friends, Joyce agreed to go on a blind date. The man's name was Forrest V. Wing Jr., and he was a widower with six children. Upon meeting, Joyce and Forrest learned they had much to talk about-like the fact that neither one of them was really in the mood for dating. They laughed about it, realizing then that they could be honest and comfortable and fall easily into conversation with each other. All of this, not to mention the fact that Joyce found Forrest to be a real charmer. Before she knew it, Joyce had wholeheartedly accepted Forrest and his children into her life. The couple married on June 21, 1963.

Joyce settled into the family house on Alpine, knowing immediately that it would be her home forever. Thanks to her years on the farm, Joyce never found meeting the expectations of motherhood burdensome. From day one she slipped into the role effortlessly, like it was her destiny. She embraced the children as her own and, even as the family grew to include two more children, Joyce never showed favoritism. There was no time for that anyway. With so many people in the house, Joyce naturally ran things very much like her own parents had-in a very regimented way. Each child had regular chores to be done at regular times. The children only had to disobey once to find out what the consequences were. When Joyce reached her limit, they would hear her say, "Wait till dad gets home." Then they knew they had pushed too far.

Joyce kept a very clean, organized house. To keep it that way, Saturday became "Cleaning Day," while another day of the week was entirely dedicated to doing laundry. Joyce left it up to the kids to make sure their clothes made it onto the pile in time. The spring, too, brought its own chore-washing the walls. The kids would gather up their supplies and start scrubbing, making sure that whatever they moved made it back to just the right spot. After all, everything had its place.

The house needed order and Joyce brought it, but she certainly wasn't cold and unfeeling. In fact she was incredibly caring. Eight children meant eight different lives to keep up with and show support for; and Joyce did. She never failed to enjoy all the fun in the house, especially since one kid was forever trying to convince another to do something silly.

Between the eight children, Forrest, and herself, Joyce learned to cook for an army-her army. She always made plenty, and made it well. The kids especially loved her baked beans, beef roast with fried gravy, and pumpkin pie. Of course, Joyce knew the children all had individual tastes, so she would go out of her way to find out each child's favorite dessert and make it for family gatherings. Joyce was a great baker, and even had special recipes of cakes and banana bread made in soup cans. Whatever Joyce made, she made a lot of it. In later years, she admitted that she had a hard time adjusting to making smaller portions. But the extra's rarely went to waste: if one of the kids or anyone else stopped by for (or even after) dinner, she had something to offer. She made so much food that when she set the meal on the table, Forrest would say, "Guess I know what we're having the next few days!"

After the kids were grown, Joyce needed to get out of the house to stay busy. She worked at a number of places throughout the years. The tables at Arby's have never been as clean as when Joyce worked there. She worked at Arrow Golf Course and the Galaxy Restaurant too, but her longest and most agreeable job had to be the one at Holiday Lanes. Joyce loved bowling. When some of the kids were young, she broke her leg at the bowling alley and walked with a limp from that day forward. But it never turned her off from the game. Of all of her jobs, she liked the one at the bowling alley because there, she got to enjoy the game, socialize, and do something she really liked to do: joke around. Joyce had a great sense of humor and never hesitated to "take a jab" at someone at the bowling alley, hoping they would respond right back. Somehow she had a knack for making people laugh. She could poke fun, but also recognize a person's limits. Of course, Joyce knew how to take it just as much as she knew how to dish it out. When she laughed, the noise wasn't very loud, but the textured sound came right from her belly. If the laugh came with a wide smile, you knew you'd gotten Joyce good.

The tradition of Lake City family reunions was one Joyce looked forward to. She enjoyed going when the children were little, when they would camp out at Lake Missaukee in July-the Hinkley family reunion would be one weekend, followed by the Wagner family reunion the next. Joyce looked forward to these gatherings every year, perhaps even more so once the children were grown. Instead of camping, however, Joyce worked herself up to renting a cottage on the lake. Even this last year, she made sure to attend the Wagner family reunion.

Joyce also kept herself busy by playing games with her family and friends. Cards, dice games-it didn't really matter what they played. Joyce just enjoyed laughing with the people she loved. For many years, if you happened to be over at Joyce's in the late morning, you would be sure to see that Bob Barker show (The Price is Right) on the television screen. Joyce loved that show. Not surprisingly, there was always a pot of coffee ready for anyone who might walk through the door. Joyce spent much of her time sitting at her kitchen table, organizing something while waiting for the next guest to tend to.

As a naturally inquisitive person, Joyce never failed to make herself "in the loop" and know what was happening with everyone in the family. This included the grandchildren, too, of course, as Joyce expected them to talk with her regularly. If they didn't call, she would call them. To someone outside of the family, it might have seemed meddlesome, but everyone knew that Joyce only wanted to show her love and concern. In fact she was a great person to talk to, always ready to listen, but you had to be prepared for whatever you said to be followed with a bit of advice, for it was sure to come. Joyce liked to say things straight, just the way they were. There would be advice to her children about how to raise their children, that sort of thing. Joyce made sure that you heard her opinion; she made sure that she followed up to see if you took it; and she made sure to let you know how well you'd followed it.

The personality Joyce expressed made her all the more lovable. She was opinionated, but at the same time so accepting of everyone. From the time when she welcomed Forrest's children into her life, to the time when her own children found spouses and brought grandchildren into the family, she made everyone feel like they were meant to be part of her life.

Joyce once said, "Once a mother, always a mother." And that she was.

Joyce R. Wing, age 72 of Grand Rapids, passed away December 9, 2005. She is survived by her husband, Forrest; children Christopher and Melissa Wing, Michael and Marcia Wing, Deborah and Robert Hastings, Kevin and Sheila Wing, Anita and Tim Higbee, Lori and Robert Mason, Kristine and Mike Chicky, Alan and Vicky Wing; 20 grandchildren and 6 great grandchildren; siblings Marguerite Scott, Maxine and Mark Engle, Chuck and Ruth Hinkley, Bernie and Donna Hinkley, Virginia Hinkley, and many nieces and nephews. A service to celebrate Joyce's life will be held on Tuesday, December 13 at 11 AM at Heritage Life Story Funeral Home - Alt & Shawmut Hills Chapel, 2120 Lake Michigan Drive NW where relatives and friends are invited to meet with her family on Monday from 2-4 and 7-9 PM. For those who wish, memorial contributions to the American Cancer Society are appreciated. To share a favorite memory, please visit www.lifestorynet.com.