Jack Nicely Jr.

Jack “Jay” Nicely, Jr. was a man, who chose to live most of his life on the edge, full of adventure. His life was one that was overflowing with adversity, difficulties and many struggles, with some good times sprinkled in. Throughout the majority of his life he could not fully understand why it was so difficult.. He persevered through the toughest of times when so many others would have easily given up. Armed with little more than true empathy, Jay eventually became an advocate for those going through the same battles he had, and in turn, he was finally able to help many change the direction of their lives. In the end, the last several years he understood what it meant to fight for a cause and to put others before himself.

The 1950s were a bustling, optimistic time in American history. Neighborhoods and schools were bursting at the seams in the post-war Baby Boom. Families moved from cities to stake their claims on a comfortable life in the suburbs, where new domestic technologies made the average American life easier. Jack Nicely, Jr. was born during this carefree period in Akron, Ohio, to Jack and Norma (Troth) Nicely on October 27, 1951. He and his older brother, William, led a typical childhood of the time, growing up in the quiet suburbs of Akron, in the community of Mogadore. Eventually, his parents moved the family to Rochester, Michigan, where Jay attended high school for awhile and then the rebel in him needed to go and see the world..

Many of his family members had been in the Military, including his father who had served as a Marine in World War II as did Jay's uncle, William D. Nicely. Sadly, on William's 26th birthday he was killed in combat. Not only had it been his birthday, it was also the first day of the IwoJima Beachhead. It is recorded that Jay had previous family members who served in World War I as well as the Civil War.

At 17, Jay followed the same patriotic calling that past family members and many other young men of the time, he enlisted in the U.S. Army, serving in the Vietnam War. He spent much of his time there in a tank, causing permanent ringing in the ears. In time, the horrors of battle took its toll on Jay, and he returned home suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He struggled to make sense of life and find some stability, to no avail. In his state of confusion upon returning home, his clouded thinking lead him to live rebelliously and he turned to drugs and alcohol.

Over the years he had tried many different Rehab Programs and eventually moved to Grand Rapids. In 1993 he found himself at the VA Hospital in Battle Creek, where he finally discovered what P.T.S.D. was, and was able to complete his drug and alcohol treatment at the Jellema House and get clean. Jay went back and earned his GED and even took several college classes with hopes of completing the classes he needed to become licensed in the field of Recovery. He also went to work as a Clinician at Pathfinders, Jellema House, Woman & Childrens Recovery House and Turning Point. He really enjoyed his work, the interaction with the clients, and trying to help others fight substance abuse. Jay enjoyed his work, the interaction with the clients, and trying to help others fight substance abuse. Jay brought much experience and great empathy to his job, perhaps "paying forward" the help he had been given. Unfortunately, in 2001 Jay had a terrible motorcycle accident and was severly injured and never entirely healed from the wounds he'd suffered. After about a year, he was able to return to work for a short time but was unable to continue his duties as a Clinician safely or comfortably. Jay did not really enjoy "retirement" for long. Although when he was still able to be active in keeping the yard looking beautiful and attend British car shows he would rather have been able to continue helping people in the field he was most familiar with. Jay had also had a severe work accident, resulting in the loss of one lung, many, many years ago. But he did survive that and several other accidents throughout his life. He had felt, saw and endured so much over the span of his lifetime that it was no surprise to him when he was diagnosed with C.O.P.D. (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). He had struggled for years with that, among all the rest of his inner turmoil until his body no longer had the strength or will to fight.

Over the years, Jay had two children of his own, Taylor and Jessica. In late 1999, while chatting online (something Jay loved to do), he met Patsy (Davis) Spoelma and they quickly hit it off. They were basically inseparable from the time they met. Jay and Patsy eventually met face to face, and they both knew immediately that they would be together till the end and were later married on February 20, 2002. They would say to each other, that it took both of them to be complete. She will now somehow find her way knowing that he is finally comfortable, at peace, and free from all the negative memories that he could not release while he was here on earth.

His family meant the world to Jack, (at some point he went from Jay to Jack). His wife Pat, whom he loved dearly, shared his life for over 10 years. His daughter, Jessica, he felt was the best thing he'd ever accomplished in all his years. He always loved her rebellious nature, but was happy to see her turn into an adult, who decided to not take the same route he did through most of his life. And enjoyed seeing her turn into a mother to his grandson, Hobbs, whom he didn't see often enough due to distance and Jack's illness. He really did enjoy spending time and playing with him and was fortunate enough to see him for the last time, just two weeks prior to this death. His Stepchildren, April and Pete Spoelma, he had grown to understand, love and care for them and had been part of their lives for over 10 years. He was happy also to see them both grow and mature, and able to make their own choices in life. Unfortunately due to Jay's past, his son Taylor was unable to continue a relationship with his father which he did understand, but had hoped that someday, Taylor would come around. His brother Bill, although lived so far away, in Arizona, for so many years; Jay never forgot he had a "big brother" and they continued to keep in touch. And then Lisa, Jessica's mother. Her and Jay were able to mend past differences and had a close friendship for several years, throughout the end of Jay's life.

Jay enjoyed a plethora of interests and hobbies. He was quite a history buff, so it was only natural that he loved the History Channel. He enjoyed yard work and, of course, socializing on the computer. Jay liked cars, especially his most recent British car – the 1968 Triumph GT6. Riding his motorcycle on a beautiful day always put Jay in a great mood, though after his 2001 accident, he didn’t ride as much, only because his wife would no longer ride with him. He always told it like it was. It meant a great deal to him to re-connect with all his school friends through Facebook within the last year or so. He spent many hours socializing through the Internet. He fought so many things throughout much of his life and his long, ongoing fight with COPD was the one fight there was no way out of. After fighting so hard he just didn't have it in him on continue. Jay passed away on Sunday, March 24, 2012, at the age of 60 and will be deeply missed my many who knew him..

Mr. Jack Nicely Jr., "Jay" as known by some; passed away March 24, 2012 at the age 60, with his loving wife by his side. He had been living in Grand Rapids for many years, and had been born in Akron Ohio. He is survived and will be deeply missed by his wife, Pat; Children; Taylor Nicely, Jessica Nicely (Kevin Meyers); Grandson; Hobbs Reinsteiner (Jessica’s son); Stepchildren; April Spoelma, Peter Spoelma (Steph Troeger); his brother, Bill (Jeanette) Nicely; long time friend and Jessica's mother, Lisa Nicely. He is finally at peace. Friends are invited to gather with his family on Saturday, April 7 from 2-4 pm at Heritage Life Story Funeral Home – Van Strien Creston Chapel, 1833 Plainfield NE. In lieu of flowers, the family would like you to please consider a donation to either the The COPD Foundation (www.copdfoundation.org/) or the American Society of Addiction Medicine (www.asam.org/) To read more about Jack, to share memories, to sign the guestbook, or for more information about the memorial contributions, please visit www.lifestorynet.com.